oldircstuff

     hi, my       honey.
   i'm really   happy that
 my mailbox is full of those
pretty hearts every day.  so,
i just thought i would return
the favor, just in case you'd
 not yet realized just how i
   love you.  you are just
     so very, very, very
       extraordinarily

We sit and we type, and we stare at our screens
We all have to wonder, what this possibly means.

With our mouse we roam, through the rooms in a maze
Looking for something or someone, as we sit in a daze.

We chat with each other, we type all our woes
Small groups we do form, and gang up on our foes.

We wait for somebody, to type out our name
We want recognition, but it is always the same.

We give kisses and hugs, and sometimes flirt
In IMs we chat deeply, and reveal why we hurt.

A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question:

"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?  Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it's compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

• Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
• Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
• And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
• It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
• Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
• Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
• Be more or less specific.
• Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
• Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
• No sentence fragments.
• Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

AP - Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released today, countered President Clinton's firm denial:

I have had enough. This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach any more. I feel as if I am getting the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in my face.

This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard, that is when I am at my best. I have faced hard things in the past, and I know what is coming.  I will meet the challenge the only way that I know how: head on.

Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship.  He sends a signal: "Change your course 10 degrees east."

The light signals back: "Change yours, 10 degree west."

Angry, the captain sends: "I'm a navy captain!  Change your course, sir!"

"I'm a seaman, second class," comes the reply.  "Change your course, sir."

Now the captain is furious.  "I'm a battleship!  I'm not changing course!"

There is one last reply.  "I'm a lighthouse.  Your call."

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.  I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand.  I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.  I bought 200.  I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home.  I have a big car.  I let one drive.  His name was Sigmund.  He was slow.  In fact, none of them were really bright.  They kept punching themselves in their genitals.  I laughed.  Then they punched my genitals.  I stopped laughing.

By Rod Hilton

FADE IN:

EXT. A VERY FOGGY CORUSCANT

A glimmering ship cuts through the fog, eventually landing, followed closely by two smaller Nubian transports.

DIRECTOR GEORGE LUCAS
Look! We figured out how to do fog!

JAY LAGA'AIA emerges from one of the smaller ships, as does THE REAL SENATOR NATALIE PORTMAN

JAY LAGA'AIA
Looks like there was no danger at all. I suppose your decoy can get off the ship now.